69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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