I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
tell me about the fingering
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