He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
