Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Drake has all the answers
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
