shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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