Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie