Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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  (412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8
  Replies (82) Good night (2882) Bad night (627)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

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  (815): I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen http://tfl.nu/dsay
  Replies (27) Good night (2476) Bad night (2409)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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  (804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (3642)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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  (859): you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it. http://tfl.nu/q4is
  Replies (33) Good night (9537) Bad night (1419)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.

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  (614): mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her. http://tfl.nu/npv7
  Replies (6) Good night (1090) Bad night (3072)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

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  (717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7
  Replies (19) Good night (5055) Bad night (759)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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  (757): He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat http://tfl.nu/9wfo
  Replies (7) Good night (2987) Bad night (1009)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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  (206): I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night. http://tfl.nu/kkxt
  Replies (4) Good night (1715) Bad night (614)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (749) Bad night (373)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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  (508): You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes... http://tfl.nu/do6f
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (419)
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  (916): View more from California

  On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome

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  (916): On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome http://tfl.nu/qd8h
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (342)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation

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  (281): I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation http://tfl.nu/41s4
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (399)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.

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  (586): Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/88fu
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (229)
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  (949): View more from California

  Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.

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  (949): Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9gq2
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (304)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.

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  (248): My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks. http://tfl.nu/gg52
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (237)

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