hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
