when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drank your wedding present. Sorry