she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless