Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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(325): i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits.. http://tfl.nu/taa7

Replies (24) Good night (713) Bad night (2436)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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(201): we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me http://tfl.nu/mhrn

Replies (34) Good night (750) Bad night (5052)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

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(610): i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them http://tfl.nu/hras

Replies (41) Good night (4334) Bad night (1664)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend

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(412): He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend http://tfl.nu/zd33

Replies (9) Good night (4599) Bad night (1170)
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(520): View more from Arizona

New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

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(520): New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do. http://tfl.nu/6kks

Replies (9) Good night (2260) Bad night (865)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

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(336): If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that http://tfl.nu/zg2p

Replies (4) Good night (3743) Bad night (1109)
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(714): View more from California

He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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(714): He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xpcu

Replies (8) Good night (2650) Bad night (1021)
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(956): View more from Texas

Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.

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(956): Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars. http://tfl.nu/dx00

Replies (29) Good night (1679) Bad night (867)
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(559): View more from California

It was like die hard. Except with more penises.

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(559): It was like die hard. Except with more penises. http://tfl.nu/fa39

Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (568)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.

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(832): And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking. http://tfl.nu/dun3

Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (497)
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(310): View more from California

Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.

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(310): Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch. http://tfl.nu/am85

Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (422)
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(775): View more from Nevada

When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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(775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq

Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (541)
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(360): View more from Washington

I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.

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(360): I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/6lmr

Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (556)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?

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(248): I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex? http://tfl.nu/7avt

Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (307)
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(210): View more from Texas

If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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(210): If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this. http://tfl.nu/pefz

Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (562)

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