So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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