Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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  (615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked. http://tfl.nu/g4y8
  Replies (45) Good night (1670) Bad night (9636)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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  (505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9
  Replies (12) Good night (4279) Bad night (597)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
  Replies (29) Good night (2445) Bad night (617)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...

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  (484): Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age... http://tfl.nu/y336
  Replies (63) Good night (3728) Bad night (2675)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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  (480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you. http://tfl.nu/te9w
  Replies (20) Good night (4659) Bad night (670)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck

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  (413): Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck http://tfl.nu/rnye
  Replies (5) Good night (1352) Bad night (3572)
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  (805): View more from California

  I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

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  (805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends http://tfl.nu/9344
  Replies (35) Good night (1572) Bad night (4690)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1348) Bad night (3446)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.

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  (214): Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree. http://tfl.nu/bwsc
  Replies (11) Good night (4238) Bad night (1726)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

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  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4895) Bad night (1151)
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  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

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  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2734) Bad night (789)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  (214): So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him. http://tfl.nu/fzxv
  Replies (2) Good night (2136) Bad night (460)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.

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  (404): If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you. http://tfl.nu/1sgs
  Replies (3) Good night (1014) Bad night (502)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.

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  (920): If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujgb
  Replies (6) Good night (1562) Bad night (499)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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  (540): You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going. http://tfl.nu/zi7j
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (267)

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