my mouth tastes like poor choices
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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