kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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