Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
