We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
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You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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