U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize