It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
