you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
