Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
