I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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