Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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