I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize