Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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