I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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