We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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