You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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