office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
