don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
