good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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