I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
