Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
