i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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