Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
