I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
