The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
