you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
