I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
