Your tits are I can't wait for
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
