Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
