didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize