well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
