yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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