Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize