i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
