dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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