I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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