ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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