So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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