dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
