I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We're too hungover to prance.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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