Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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