You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think i have herpe
just one?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
