The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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