my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i've created a new STD.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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