She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
