I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize