All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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