The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
