We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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