Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
