You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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