The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
