I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
