i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
