Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
