ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
