I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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