Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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