I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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