My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
