hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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