You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize