I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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