New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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