True but thats because hes a fetus.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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