Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
