Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In America we eat man semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
