Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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