just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
