so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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